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February 28, 2005

Good Christian values

Rep. Sam Johnson has made a lovely suggestion for our Syrian policy (sub.req.):

Now we know where Rep. Sam Johnson (R-Texas) thinks the weapons of mass destruction are buried: in Syria, which he said he’d like to nuke to smithereens.

Speaking at a veterans’ celebration at Suncreek United Methodist Church in Allen, Texas, on Feb. 19, Johnson told the crowd that he explained his theory to President Bush and Rep. Kay Granger (R-Texas) on the porch of the White House one night.

Johnson said he told the president that night, “Syria is the problem. Syria is where those weapons of mass destruction are, in my view. You know, I can fly an F-15, put two nukes on ‘em and I’ll make one pass. We won’t have to worry about Syria anymore.”

RollCall.com has the story. (Subscription required).

February 24, 2005

Holy crap! Missed the best one!

Dammit, after putting up that last post, we immediately came across the trailer that's worth waiting for. And we DO mean waiting: the loading is EXTREMELY slow, so be forewarned. But it's worth it, to show you a movie we've been waiting 2 years for, and now has finally made it's way to the States. Ladies and Gentlemen......

Click here to witness the magnificence of Chan Wook-Park's OLDBOY!!!!!

Trailers

Hey folks, back from vacation with a couple of things for you to check out. First up, we have the trailer for The Cave, which looks to be an Alien-ripoff, but possibly a good time. After all, being underwater makes almost anything cooler. (The film Sphere is excepted from this rule.) And early buzz on it has actually been fairly positive, more in the vein of Pitch Black than Boogeyman.

Next comes the latest from Richard Linklater, maker of one of our favorite films of last year, and man, we just think this is going to OWN. Click here for the trailer to A Scanner Darkly! Also, don't be put off by the presence of Keanu. His ratio of good movies to bad ones is still respectable. Especially when working with indie directors. (My Own Private Idaho, anyone?)

Lastly, we have the trailer for Paul Schrader's Exorcist: The Beginning. That would be the version that the studio watched, said wasn't "action-filled" enough, and hid away for 2 years. The version that came out in theaters last year was a shit-fest, and what do you want to bet Schrader (a DAMN good art-house director) made something pretty slow, languid, and kick-ass? Warning: you actually have to download this puppy, and it may take a few minutes.

February 18, 2005

Constantinely Debatable

Well, we couldn't let the opening of a big-budget supernatural thriller go by without noting it, and the arrival of the new Keanu Reeves film Constantine. Some bizarrely back-and-forth opinions from critics on whether it totally sucks or totally rules, and what's weird is the lack of any review that's in-between those two views. On the "hated it" side, our favorite quote comes from Leah McLaren in the Toronto Globe & Mail, who imagines the studio execs' meeting at which the decision was made to produce the movie: "A few guys in Prada suits sit around an L.A. boardroom table going, 'The Matrix meets The Exorcist, huh .....? With Keanu? I like it. No wait -- I love it.'"

And on the confusing side, a few critics are praising it up and down, including the Minneapolis Star Tribune's (admittedly retarded) critic Colin Covert, who bestows four stars upon it. The only place that seems split in a middle-of-the-road way are the trusty geeks at Ain't It Cool News. We'd suggest a breif glance at their various takes on it, if you're trying to decide to see or not to see.

News of the Inebriated

From Planetarium staffer Brunansky comes this little tidbit:

Drunken birds smash into glass office building

Associated Press

COLUMBIA, S.C. (AP) -- Dozens of birds got drunk from eating holly berries, then crashed into the glass of an office building and died. "It was like an Alfred Hitchcock movie," worker Denise Wilkinson said. "It was spooky. You could hear them where they flew into the glass."

Warm weather and an ample supply of berries attracted hundreds of cedar waxwings into the enclosed courtyard of the three-story building Tuesday. The birds began getting drunk on the fermented berries. They got so loopy that some were falling off branches and others were slamming into the glass walls that enclose the courtyard, said Burgess Mills, the building's owner.

About half of the 100 birds that slammed into the building died, workers said. Groundskeepers have tried to help the birds by putting tape on windows or nets over the holly trees to keep them from eating the berries, Mills said.

February 17, 2005

Okay, we're a little late with this one.

Apologies all around, but really, it's not easy to compile the top films of 2004. Every time we thought we had the list nailed down, a fight would break out between the foreign-film support side and the American film team, and madness would ensue. Also, a few films we have the nagging feeling might deserve to be on this list, like Guy Maddin's ethereal Saddest Music in the World, simply haven't been seen by much of the Planetarium staff yet. So, needless to say, it's about a month tardy this year, and you know what? Tough shit. Whose blog is this, yours or ours? Anyhoo, on with the show.

1. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind- was there really any question? Forget an Oscar, Michael Gondry deserves his own little place in heaven for directing this piece of unadulterated emotional heartbreak. See it as hopeful, see it as pessimistic, either way there's no way you can easily shake the feel that Gondry has concocted a movie that's talking directly to you, and if for nothing else than that alone, we salute him.

2. I Heart Huckabee's- It's an exciting year for national pride when the two best movies were made by American studios. Of course, that's the ONLY reason to feel proud, but let's not take that out on Huckabee's, one of the only attempts in recent years to make a BIG movie, all about big ideas, life and how to live it, and so on. And it's a rare film indeed that is talky without being pretentious. A gem. And Mark Wahlberg DOES deserve an Oscar.

3. City of God- Planetarium poster B. Alec reminded us of this film the other night, and so, with little fanfare but large spirit, this Brazilian flick nabs the number three spot. A classic gangster film, the kind of thing Scorcese would have directed, had he been born in the slums of Rio de Janeiro. Brilliant acting and cinematography to make Cold Mountain drool with envy are the two biggest draws, but this tale of ghettos and lovers and legends will OWN your ass.

4. Kill Bill Vol. 2- This flick was so good, it made us retroactively like the first one even more. Delivering all the emotional goods that Vol. 1 dangled over us like Tantalus's grapes, this ode to the spaghetti western fuses perfectly with the grindcore mentality in a hint of what'll be plundered and re-used by indie and studio bastards alike in the years to come. Quentin Tarantino still runs the A.V. club with an iron fist for a reason.

5. House of Flying Daggers- everything that Yimou Zhang had hinted he could pull off in Hero finally comes to glorious fruition here. While the emotions in Hero had come off a little detached and cold, here Zhang fulfills the promise of an epic story combined with intimate feeling, to exquisite detail.

6. Spider-Man 2- This is American blockbuster moviemaking the way it's supposed to be. The glitzy, over-the-top excesses of the studio system, when commanded by an actual great director, is what Hollywood should always be about. The neverending struggle of god versus evil and ordinary folks made many a young kids' film experiences this summer a hell of a lot better.

7. Dogville- You, by virtue of being a thinking person, will either love this movie or hate it. Sorry, but that's just how it works sometimes. It's much more rare than others would have you think, but there you go. Thankfully, we at Planetarium, being possessed of exceptional taste, loved it. And for the first time, we will go on record as being fans of a man we previously detested: Lars von Trier. Happy now, Lars? You win. You coaxed something extraordinary and deep out of Nicole Kidman in your morality-play-slash-attack-on-America, and it glows through every plain-Jane-style camera action. Dogme 95 is dead, long live Dogme.

8. Collateral- Man, the last twenty minutes of this film were a real stinkeroo, weren't they? They sure were. Good thing the first hour and a half more than makes up for it. This love letter to the grimy Los Angeles underbelly cooks and pops with more charisma than you can shake a stick at, thanks in no small part to it's positively orgasmic chemistry between the two leading men. Also, when are you EVER going to get another chance to hear Tom Cruise shout "Hey, homie!"

9. Infernal Affairs- Okay, busted: Andy lau's good-cop-bad-cop masterpiece is actually from the previous year. But it didn't reach these shores until last year, so nyeah. Chronology aside, it takes a lot to make this genre feel fresh these days, and Lau does it with understated aplomb. Um, except for the awful title. Hurry and see it before you're forced to go see the American remake being shot this year with Scorcese at the helm. (Fine, fine, we'll see that one, too.)

10. Before Sunset- Okay, we're throwing down the gauntelet on this one, that's all there is to it. If you can't find a spot in your heart for this movie, on SOME level, ANY level, then we guarantee you that you have the heart of a bastard, and will never truly know love, you cold-hearted prick. Them's the breaks. And we mean it.

Censor? Sure!

From Cursor.org comes a pretty straightforward,- but damning- little piece at the Seattle Post-Intelligencer about the censoring of news from Iraq at all levels of the mainstream media:

I've personally witnessed photographers in Baghdad who have had their cameras either confiscated or smashed by soldiers, who were, of course, acting on orders from their superiors. And no, the journalists weren't trying to photograph something that would jeopardize the security of the soldiers. Even Christiane Amanpour, CNN's top war correspondent, announced on national television that her own network was censuring her journalism.

February 16, 2005

Finally Up

After some initial postings, followed by some initial cease-and-desist letters, the trailer for The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is finally up and running as an exclusive over at amazon.com. It's tough to tell from the trailer, but it hints at retaining the dorky humor and charm of Adams' books. One thing's for sure: if you want to make your movie better, it never hurts to cast Mos Def in one of the main roles.

February 10, 2005

Scandal-riffic

Again, we can't believe that stories this big just get swept under the rug. A Republican operative getting licensed as a White House Reporter to act as a lifeline for Scott McClellan during press briefings? This should be huge. Of course, it won't be.

Read the letter from Rep. Slaughter asking for an explanation.

Read tons of details and stories about the Gannon scandal over at Americablog.

This is ridiculous.

February 09, 2005

"Uniquely American"

Courtesy of Planetarium staffer Brunansky, who directed us to the latest Drudge Report, we offer you the best Presidential quote you're gonna hear this week:


BUSH: HOLDING THREE JOBS 'UNIQUELY AMERICAN'
Tues Feb 8 2005 9:27:01 ET

Last Friday when promoting social security reform with 'regular' citizens in Omaha, Nebraska, President Bush walked into an awkward unscripted moment in which he stated that carrying three jobs at a time is 'uniquely American.'

While talking with audience participants, the president met Mary Mornin, a woman in her late fifties who told the president she was a divorced mother of three, including a 'mentally challenged' son.

The President comforted Mornin on the security of social security stating that 'the promises made will be kept by the government.'

But without prompting Mornin began to elaborate on her life circumstances.

Begin transcript:

MS. MORNIN: That's good, because I work three jobs and I feel like I contribute.

THE PRESIDENT: You work three jobs?

MS. MORNIN: Three jobs, yes.

THE PRESIDENT: Uniquely American, isn't it? I mean, that is fantastic that you're doing that. (Applause.) Get any sleep? (Laughter.)

February 08, 2005

Balding? Try hair Krugs

New Krugman. Go!

February 07, 2005

Kevin Bacon joins the music biz

We here at Planetarium have a new favorite music nerd site: Band to Band. Yeah, you guessed it: It's basically six degrees of separation for the indie/punk music scene. And they've really covered a LOT of their bases. We were able to get from Bad Religion to the Red Hot Chili Peppers in just seven degrees.

February 04, 2005

Pssssssst

TCB stumbled onto quite the fascinating website, it seems like it would appeal especially to fans of Found magazine. But, it holds a vicarious enjoyment that's broader than that, we think. They will post secrets you don't tell anyone over at PostSecret. Pretty good stuff, too.

Lil' John's "Krug Juice"

New Krugman. Go!

By the way, if you wanted to compile a pretty much unassailable argument against the Bush plan to partially privatize Social Security, all you would really need to do would be to take the last five Krugman pieces we've linked to here and paste them together. We're just saying.

February 03, 2005

Dance everybody

First of all, before we commence with today's posting, the staff of Planetarium would just like to thank the Bush administration for moving ahead with its plan to completely dismantle the safety net that would have made sure we could survive after our retirement. We're SO glad the money will be placed in the stock market. To quote another smart person, "Have you FOLLOWED the fucking stock market lately? Why not just take all the money and bet it on a horse?"

Ahem. Anyways, in case you weren't aware, Universal International has finally gotten off its butt and given us a reissure of the Slits' classic album Cut. And it's a real doozy, with the remastering process giving the notoriously lo-fi album just enough warmth and punch to make it a lot better bang for your buck. Of course, it's a great fucking record to begin with (ever wonder where the Clash got some of their "let's incorporate dub" ideas? Look no further), but we were never really happy with the sound. Now, there's no excuses left for you to not own this. The women of the Slits deserve their place in punk rock history for this album, and we're glad to give it to them. Commence capitalistic duty.

February 02, 2005

Like Soul Asylum, but in politics

Well, it's a given now: Howard Dean is is taking over as head of the DNC. Beltway blogs have been jabbering about what this means for the past day or so, but we can pretty much end the questions now and tell you: it's going to involve Howard Dean selling his big, white, "yyyeeeeaaaahhhh"-ing ass straight up the river. Look, Dean knew what he was getting into going after this position, and the Democratic big-money mucky-mucks CERTAINLY made it clear to Howie what was going to be expected of him, should he take the post. The fact that there's now near-universal support for him in the party pretty much means that all the horrible fucks who run the party have been reassured that there will be no rocking of their sad little boat. Great news for the rest of us, huh.

February 01, 2005

You're the Only Krug I Need

New Krugman. Go!