Jude Legal and Jules Roberts
As a special treat today, we found some guy who watched the film Closer after having been dubbed into Chinese. Clearly, the man China hired to do this must not get paid very well. "Sloppy translation" doesn't quite do it justice. Here's an excerpt from a conversation between Jude Law and Natalie Portman (the original, follow by how it was translated for subtitles):
A: How did you end up writing obituaries?
?A: What kinds of things do you like?
D: Well, I had dreams of being a writer...
?D: I like drinking beer.
D: But I had no voice -- what am I saying??
?D: But I don't drink often. Also..
D: ...I had no talent. So I ended up in obituaries, which is...
?D: I love singing. I can sing many songs.
D: ...the Siberia of journalism.
?D: ...including German folk songs.
A: Tell me what you do. I wanna imagine you in Siberia.
?A: I hope I'll have a chance to hear you sing.
D: Really?
?D: Really?
A: Mm.
?A: Mm.
D: Well... we call it "the obits page."
?D: Well... we don't often sing.
D: There's three of us. Me, Graham, and Harry.
?D: Because everyone is really busy.
D: When I get to work, without fail -- are you sure you wanna know?
?D: Especially when I'm working. Extremely busy.
(She nods.)
D: Well, if someone important died, we go to the "deep freeze."
?D: If someone died, we would sing the funeral hymn.
D: Which is, um, a computer file with all the obituaries, and we find that person's life.
?D: Although I rarely sing, singing is something I can't do without in my life.
A: People's obituaries are written while they're still alive?
?A: Do people like your singing?
D: Some people's. Then Harry -- he's the editor -- he decides who we're going to lead with...
?D: Some people. Sometimes we get invitations [to sing].
D: We make calls, we check facts...
?D: Some are favors, some paid...
D: At six we stand around at the computer and look at the next day's page...
?D: We're all happy to do it; the money doesn't matter. It's great.
D: ...make final changes, add a few euphemisms for our own amusement...
?D: It's a kind of addiction. But it's not like alcoholism.
A: Such as?
?A: eh?
D: "He was a convivial fellow." ...meaning he was an alcoholic.
?D: I have a really strange friend. A homosexual.