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July 30, 2004

Whilst in the Bleak Midwinter

Planetarium has never been a big poetry fan. Despite the theoretical and cultural imperatives to appreciate poetry, because it is the only form of writing that can create something beyond just the words laid down on paper (which we actually disagree with, by the way), Planetarium is not a place where poems are gathered and treasured. And yet, every once in a LONG while, at the unlikeliest of times, these things can hit you like a ton of bricks. As did something tonight. After watching repeats of John Kerry's speech, and reading in the Times about yesterday being the bloodiest day yet of fighting in Iraq, along comes Ezra Pound, out of nowhere, to spark something more than most could ever hope for. We won't force you to read it, but, really, if interested, click on the continuation, and see it for yourself, from one of the best, some turns of phrase that capture this "war" we're in so damn well.

From "Hugh Selwyn Mauberly":

IV

These fought in any case,
and some believing,
pro domo, in any case...

some quick to arm,
some for adventure,
some from fear of weakness,
some from fear of censure,
some for love of slaughter, in imagination,
learning later...
some in fear, learning love of slaughter;

Died some, pro patria
non "dulce" non "et decor"...

walked eye-deep in hell
believing in old men's lies, then unbelieving,
come home, home to a lie,
home to many deceits,
home to old lies and new infamy;
usury age-old and age-thick
and liars in public places.

Daring as never before, wastage as never before.
Young blood and high blood,
fair cheeks, and fine bodies;

fortitude as never before

frankness as never before,
disillusions as never told in the old days,
hysterias, trench confessions,
laughter out of dead bellies.

V

There died a myriad,
And of the best, among them,
For an old bitch gone in the teeth,
For a botched civilization,

Charm, smiling at the good mouth,
Qick eyes gone under earth's lid,

For two gross of broken statues,
For a few thousand battered books.

- Ezra Pound
"Hugh Selwyn Mauberly"

July 29, 2004

Please Stop Blaming Your Personal Problems on Films

As always, Friday can't come soon enough, and there's a startlingly large glut of new films being released tomorrow, trying to get enough of the summertime movie-going magic to earn serious cash. And while maybe one or two of them might, it's nevertheless fun to keep track of these things, in much the same way a gambling addict keeps his eyes locked to the horses on the raceway. Which is interesting, considering the special loathing Planetarium holds in our hearts for most of Hollywood.

First up is the man you either refer to as "M. Night Shyamalan" or "that fucking hack", depending on your response to his films. While The Village appears to at least offer a rather unique and impressive story for a genre film, early word on the flick has been something less than, shall we say, good. I see dead box office! Except that not really. Unless it's as bad as we hear, this movie's gonna be a megahit. Next up is the Manchurian Candidate, which, contrary to the assumed forecast, is actually supposed to be pretty damn good. Just because Jonathan Demme's last few have been a couple of clunkers (The Truth About Charlie, anyone?) doesn't at all tell us that the man responsible for The Silence of the Lambs can't make a good movie. The thing is- the first version with Sinatra is one of Planetarium's favorite movies of all time, so this had better be really good. And while we're on the subject: damn, Denzel, take a fucking vacation!

After the big boys, we've got a movie that Planetarium is all a-tingle to see- Zach Braff's directorial debut, Garden State. This movie has kicked all kinds of ass on the festival circuit, including Sundance, and just judging by the trailer, appears the most likely of the weekend films to have the potential for greatness. Call it an unpretentious Lost in Translation. Another movie coming out this weekend is Thunderbirds, which looks to be directly marketed to kids, looks to be a remake of a great TV show without the best parts (puppets), and looks to royally suck to high heaven. So that's that. Go see something this weekend, as it's the beginning of the dog days of August, the best time, in our humble opinion, to see movies on the big screen. Oh, wait, there's one more film coming out this weekend, but we can't remember the name, something about two best friends who get really high and try to get some burgers...we think it's called Harold and Kumar Rape Humanity.

July 27, 2004

Paul's got us scared again.

Darn it, Paul Krugman, you're scaring everyone again. We especially wish your scary argument wasn't so compelling, and didn't yet again reinforce our worry that no matter what way the votes go, Republicans will find a way to steal the election again.

"Here come the robots in black.."

First, the good news. I, Robot? Quite satisfyingly entertaining. A simple, well-executed, humorously action-filled (by which we mean the action is often humorous) popcorn movie. The only people who won't enjoy this movie on some level are mega-nerds who whine about how it's not faithful to the book. Sorry, but to Planetarium, that is one of the most ridiculous claims you can level at a film- that it isn't like the book it's based on, or doesn't stay "true to the spirit of the author", or something. They are two completely different things, folks. Go back to rolling your twenty-sided dice. At least I, Robot is honest about it: In the credits, it says "Idea suggested by Isaac Asimov's book".

And, second, just a quick note on day one of the convention. Doesn't Al Gore look a LOT more presidential now that he's stopped running for President? Also, he's become quite soundbite-worthy; we wish he had known how to do that back in 2000. Not that we would've voted for him, then, but maybe a few more other folks would.

July 25, 2004

The scoop on the f-bomb

TCB pointed out that The New Yorker has all the sordid details of what actually went on in the little disagreement between Dick Cheney and Patrick Leahy on the Senate floor.

More Bubba

Okay, Planetarium assumes you all know by now that the DVD of Bubba Ho-Tep has been out for awhile. But we feel the need to remind you to purchase it. Not only will you support good independent film, and our favorite actor, Bruce Campbell, but you will get the bonus feature of audio commentary done by the King himself. Sample: "Is this some kinda special effect? Didn't have no special effects when we filmed Double Trouble or Girls!Girls!Girls!, well, maybe I was the special effect. No mummies, that's for sure." What are you waiting for?

July 20, 2004

New Krugman time

Pretty great one, too. He literally comes out and says that George Bush is the best thing that ever happened to Al Qaeda.

A brief suggestion

Allow Planetarium a small moment of rebuttal in the midst of the mass leftist Anti-Bush bonanza that's now the currency of trade in American politics: isn't the Don Quixote-esque tradition of fighting a straw man a lot more effective for the right when we're actually fighting a real bad guy (Bush et. al)? The current battle continually evinces nostalgia in almost all of us for the days of Clinton, now perpetually affixed with rose-tinted glasses. Yet, the very real damage that Clinton did, from welfare reform to the civil rights rollbacks of the '96 anti-terrorism omnibus bill to the bombing of pharmaceutical factories, gets erased in a haze of Lewinsky-scandal fun when confronted with the overtly fascist tendencies of the new regime's blatant torture, among other offenses.

In other words, the "get Bush out" campaign ends up reinforcing the position of the reactionary political forces in this country, because once Bush is out (if that even occurs), the "left" will relish the return of the malaise it was allowed to laze about in during the 90's. We are quite alright with repression and the subjugation of democracy to free-market capitalism, it seems to say: Just please do it with a friendly smile, in the guise of a liberal, and don't be quite so over-the-top about it.

Sleep tight.

July 19, 2004

Pimpin' Ain't Easy

This just in from AllHipHop.com:

"GANGSTA pioneer ICE-T aims to turn DAVID HASSELHOFF into a rap star — by producing the ex-Baywatch actor’s first hip hop album. Ice-T, one of the pioneers of 'gangsta' rap, told AP 'The man is a legend. We are going to show a whole new side of him.' The unlikely duo are near neighbours in Los Angeles and have struck up a close friendship. Ice is convinced medallion-man Hasselhoff can take on the biggest names in rap. He said from a New York hotel: 'He’s gonna come out as Hassle The Hoff. The Hoff will surprise people with his rap skills and humour.'”

Okay, sixty seconds of mockery.....GO!!!

*These days everybody wants to act like they got something to say but nothing comes out when they move their lips, just a bunch of gibberish, the muthaf***ers act like they forgot about Baywatch.

um...what else....oh!

*a baywatcher: $5
plastic bling: $5
"the hoff's" album: priceless

*screw you the Hoff. i will battle rhyme you any day of the week. your skillz are ineffectual and 1980s-related.

This is fun.

July 16, 2004

This is really impressive.

Planetarium was led by TCB to a site that really kicked our collective ass, in a game wherein you pretend to be a dictator or TV sitcom character and this site will guess who you are. It defeated every staffer at Planetarium in eight rounds out of eight. Kudos, automated guessing site- you are the master.

Best/Worst/What?!?!

The good folks at the Palm Post newspaper in Florida decided to try their hand at compiling a list of the worst songs by classic bands. Actually, they call it "worst songs by great bands", but we're gonna have to call b.s. on that. Come on- the Eagles? Really? Some of their choices for worst song are a little dubious, too. Sorry folks, but there are much worse Zeppelin songs than "D'yer Mak'er". Also, we at Planetarium think they missed a few. What about:

"Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town", Pearljam. Swear to God they were channeling Raffi for this one.

"Learn to Fly", Foo Fighters. This is just....forget it. We can't, it's too easy.

"I Love My Computer", Bad Religion. What in all that is holy they were thinking for this odious anti-technology screed, we don't know. Sample lyric: "I love my computer, you're always in the mood/ I get turned on when I turn on you." 'nuff said.

There's oh so many more, which you should feel free to utilize comments for, because nothing is quite so fun as seeing the worst in the best.

July 15, 2004

MAYBE it won't suck?

Well, as you probably know if you're a regular reader, Planetarium has been expecting I, Robot to suck to high heaven. And while it's maybe a bit premature to say that it won't, Harry Knowles thinks it's actually kinda fun. Ain't It Cool is a respectable barometer of whether or not nerd movies are fun (though occasionally he REALLY misses the boat, if anyone remembers his somewhat positive review of League of Extraordinary Gentlemen), and if most of the reviews are saying "not too bad", well, it's potentially not too bad. Good news for those of us who are such geeks that we're gonna go see it no matter what.

July 12, 2004

Back from Afar

Gone for the weekend, but back with a totally shocking and simultaneously unsurprising story for you all. The New Republic broke this story on the Bush team and their playing politics with terrorism for political gain. You KNEW it wasn't true, you just didn't want it to be. We now present some of the highlights:


This spring, the administration significantly increased its pressure on
Pakistan to kill or capture Osama bin Laden, his deputy, Ayman Al Zawahiri,
or the Taliban's Mullah Mohammed Omar, all of whom are believed to be hiding
in the lawless tribal areas of Pakistan.

This public pressure would be appropriate, even laudable, had it not been
accompanied by an unseemly private insistence that the Pakistanis deliver
these high-value targets (HVTs) before Americans go to the polls in
November. The Bush administration denies it has geared the war on terrorism
to the electoral calendar.


But The New Republic has learned that Pakistani security officials have been
told they must produce HVTs by the election. According to one source in
Pakistan's powerful Inter-Services Intelligence (ISI), 'The Pakistani
government is really desperate and wants to flush out bin Laden and his
associates after the latest pressures from the U.S. administration to
deliver before the [upcoming] U.S. elections.' Introducing target dates for
Al Qaeda captures is a new twist in U.S.-Pakistani counterterrorism
relations--according to a recently departed intelligence official, 'no
timetable[s]' were discussed in 2002 or 2003--but the November election is
apparently bringing a new deadline pressure to the hunt.


A third source, an official who works under ISI's director, Lieutenant
General Ehsan ul-Haq, informed TNR that the Pakistanis 'have been told at
every level that apprehension or killing of HVTs before [the] election is
[an] absolute must.' What's more, this source claims that Bush
administration officials have told their Pakistani counterparts they have a
date in mind for announcing this achievement: 'The last ten days of July
deadline has been given repeatedly by visitors to Islamabad and during
[ul-Haq's] meetings in Washington.'

But according to this ISI official, a White House aide told ul-Haq last
spring that 'it would be best if the arrest or killing of [any] HVT were
announced on twenty-six, twenty-seven, or twenty-eight July'--the first
three days of the Democratic National Convention in Boston.

God bless America.

July 08, 2004

Campaign Love

Matt Drudge is really hitting new vistas of weirdness. Planetrium doesn't usually direct people to check out the Drudge Report, but he's implying that Kerry and Edwards are gay. There's a bunch of pictures, it's humorously bizarre, and pretty fun to watch his continued mental slide. Look quick, though, because odds are he'll come to his senses soon and take it down.

July 07, 2004

You Wish you Were this Lucky

The Times has a pretty great little article about Seth McFarlane and the coming season of The Family Guy. For those of you not in the know, Family Guy is one of the greatest comedic creations of the last twenty years, and we feel sorry for you for not having seen any of it. Go buy the DVDs with the link we provided. We'll wait. Good. Now then, Planetarium is simply all a-tingle at the prospect of new episodes, and we hope you are, too.

July 06, 2004

Welcome to the club

Michael Moore is now a blogger. Go take a looksie.

Krugman!

Snap to it, it's good for you. Remember when Planetarium used to HATE this guy? We suppose that once Bush is out of office, and he goes back to writing about how awesome neoliberal free trade policies are for everyone, we'll stop liking him again.

IfIHadAHiFi

Palindromes. You love 'em, you know it. You should try going to the Google listings and check them out. It's Planetarium's official time-waster of the day. Sort of like the news of Edwards becoming the Veep candidate.

July 03, 2004

Read it

Remember that crappy show lots of us had to watch back in grade school where the dude from Star Trek read you a book? Well, it was just on PBS and as freaky as ever. But it did remind Planetarium that we've been neglecting our duties for informing you all of good summer reading. So today's book is courtesy of a first-time author, whose follow-up book apparently isn't quite up to snuff. But that won't stop us from recommending Zadie Smith's debut novel White Teeth. Funny, smart, a quick read, very enjoyable. Set in England, which is almost always cooler. Really, a textbook definition of a summer read. We read it in two weeks, but then again, we're not exactly possessed of vast expanses of free time these days. And if good fun books aren't your cup of tea, we'll be back in a few days with something a little more serious. In the meantime, we encourage you to post a comment and offer YOUR suggestion for a good summer read.

July 02, 2004

Did you see that?!?!

Okay, folks, we here at Command Central just discovered possibly one of the greatest poems of the new millenium- and it's up on our very own website!

That's right, the good folks at Christian Online Dating (one of the approximately 10 bazillion companies that now use programs that troll the internet looking for blogs, and posting ads for their companies in the 'comments' sections) have apparently hired either Charles Bukowski or the ghost of Henry Miller - we can't tell which - to write ad-poems for them. Frankly, we think it's sheer art. But see for yourself- either go to the "comments" section from our post about Paul Krugman's new editorial from two days ago, or just click here to be taken there. It's otherwordly.

Feelin' fine.

Wow. Still four months left until the election and already the media is spinning poll results as "Bush down but not out". Good news for us, bad news for him. At least until a month before the election, when they either capture Osama bin Laden and/or there's another terrorist attack. We're fairly certain that Al Qaeda thinks that George Bush is the best thing that ever happened to them.

SO as we all gather 'round outdoor grills and fireworks this weekend to celebrate what little is left of our independence, let's remember all the hardworking men and women who are busting their butts working this weekend while we relax. That's right: I'm talking about the people promoting next week's release of Anchorman, starring Will Farrell. Planetarium will be there opening night- will you?

July 01, 2004

The first rule of Fight Club is, You do not sing about Fight Club

That's right, according to Ain't It Cool News, a guy at a Chuck Pahlaniuk signing last night was able to confirm the rather odd rumor that they are going to be making Fight Club into a musical. Apparently, Pahlaniuk okayed it because Fincher wants to be involved, as does trent Reznor, of all people, who wants to do the score. We at Planetarium are hoping for a lilting soliloquy in D, early on, about Ikea.