You Gotta Love Headlines Like This:
From today's NYTimes....
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April 27, 2006
Is it a Surprise to Anyone...
that the Springsteen Seeger album is pretty great?
No, it is not.
April 25, 2006
Tarnation
This was a pretty good movie. Planetarium gives it two thumbs up; it's not amazing by any stretch, but it's better than most. We saw it a couple days ago, and it seems to be sticking in the mind. Very sad, but very worthwhile. Realism meets neorealism meets NYC. Check it out if you're up for something different.
Christians know the truth...
April 23, 2006
The Out-of-Towners
Yep, we were out of town this weekend, sorry for the break in postings. However, you know that the new Springsteen is coming out this week, which should have you pretty pumped, and also, Silent Hill was released this weekend. Far from the typical past 30 lookalike horror films, this one is a surrealistic nightmare-esque beauty, hearkening back to the Italian giallo horror films of the 70s. Things aren't all explained away, some things don't seem to make sense, it's like you're stuck in a ....dream. Which we're sure is exactly what director Christopher Gans was going for. It's all in a heightened state of reality, which the average idiot will likely be confused by and chalk it up to bad acting, but that's really the point. Like when you do things in a bad dream that you don't WANT to do, but you can't help yourself from moving forward. And it don't waste any time: THIRTY SECONDS in, when a little girl is getting ready to jump off a cliff, you pretty much think:
GAME ON, MOTHERFUCKER!
So go support an intelligent, strange, twisted arty horror film- so they won't make Alien Vs. Predator 2, with any luck.
April 19, 2006
MI:3 is going to be awesome.
And here's the article to prove it. Seriously, we don't care how batshit-crazy Tom Cruise is. Most good actors are fucking nuts. Daniel Day-Lewis? Out of his mind. Val Kilmer? Crazier than a treeful of howler monkeys. So frankly, who gives a shit? The point is, this movie is going to be an amazing classic-style pop spy flick that hearkens back to the days of Sean Connery and The Parallax View. Color us excited. J.J. Abrams keeps getting more impressive.
You don't believe us. That's fine. We'll see who's laughing in two weeks. We should get paid for these kind of predictions, really.
April 18, 2006
Brick is a good movie.
For real. That Joseph Gordon-Levitt kid can act. It sure didn't seem like it back when he was on Third Rock from the Sun, but apparently that show didn't let him use his chops, because he is really good in this. Also, the whole high school-as-film-noir concept could've gotten really trite and precious, but they sell it totally straight here, and as a result it comes across pretty damn good. Also, their choice of femme fatale rocks. Check it out, we're pretty sure it opens wide-release finally this coming weekend.
April 16, 2006
Indietits
My favorite new cartoon:
April 14, 2006
Whatever You do this Weekend...
Please don't go see Scary Movie 4. Help this wheezing franchise of pain and stale jokes die the brutal death it deserves.
Why not check out the new Nicole Holofcener flick Friends With Money? Eh? Come on, you know you like art-house Aniston. Who didn't enjoy The Good Girl?
April 13, 2006
Dammit!
We were really on a roll there - an update every weekday for the past two weeks straight! Well, now that THAT's been shot to shit, we'lll just have to give up any hope of winning a "Bloggie". Which, for the record, let us just emphasize that it's the dumbest fucking thing on the face of the Earth to give people awards for blogging. It's like rewarding someone for passing chlamydia to the largest number of people - you shouldn't be proud of it, and it CERTAINLY should not be encouraged.
Kind of akin to those punk rock morons who tell kids to go home after the show and start their own bands; it's like, thanks, asshole, like there aren't enough shitty bands in the world already, you've gotta try and create more. NOTE TO PLANETARIUM READERS: DO NOT START A BAND.
In other news, Child Protection Services showed up at Britney and K-Fag's house the other day. Why, you ask? Turns out that Baby Assface had been actying woozy and out-of-it for a couple days, so they took her to the doctor and it turned out she had a fucking skull fracture. From falling out of her high chair or some shit. And three days went by. Can't imagine why Child Protection showed up. Maybe to give them a Bloggie?
April 11, 2006
We Love the Indietits.
Obscure indie rock jokes are funny to us still. We're sure this will slowly fade as we age, but for now, this world is still eminently mockable.
April 10, 2006
You Know What's Really Fucked Up?
Haley Joel Osment turns 18 today. Yep, that little bastard from The Sixth Sense is legally old enough to smoke. We'll be checking into a rest home later on this week.
April 07, 2006
Wow.
Gotta hand it to this guy - standing up in a town hall meeting w/ President Bush (sneaking in there in the first place would be hard enough!) and saying this in a room that hostile would be tough:
HARRY TAYLOR: You never stop talking about freedom, and I appreciate that. But while I listen to you talk about freedom, I see you assert your right to tap my telephone, to arrest me and hold me without charges, to try to preclude me from breathing clean air and drinking clean water and eating safe food. If I were a woman, you'd like to restrict my opportunity to make a choice and decision about whether I can abort a pregnancy on my own behalf. You are—
PRESIDENT BUSH: I'm not your favorite guy. Go ahead. (Laughter and applause.) Go on, what's your question?
HARRY TAYLOR: Okay, I don't have a question. What I wanted to say to you is that I—in my lifetime, I have never felt more ashamed of, nor more frightened by my leadership in Washington, including the presidency, by the Senate, and—
AUDIENCE MEMBERS: Booo!
PRESIDENT BUSH: No, wait a sec—let him speak.
HARRY TAYLOR: And I would hope—I feel like despite your rhetoric, that compassion and common sense have been left far behind during your administration, and I would hope from time to time that you have the humility and the grace to be ashamed of yourself inside yourself. And I also want to say I really appreciate the courtesy of allowing me to speak what I'm saying to you right now. That is part of what this country is about.
source: Moveon.org
April 06, 2006
Fuck Yeah
Cheney's Aide Says President Approved Leak:
The testimony by the former official, I. Lewis Libby Jr., cited in a court filing by the government made late Wednesday, provides an indication that Mr. Bush, who has long criticized leaks of secret information as a threat to national security, may have played a direct role in authorizing disclosure of the intelligence report on Iraq.
Pretty please let this happen. I swear I won't ask for anything else for Christmas, and I'll feed it and walk it every day.
(you know it's exciting when the royal we disappears.)
April 05, 2006
Something's Fishy
Scientists Call Fish Fossil, 375 Million Years Old, 'Missing Link':
Scientists have discovered fossils of a 375 million-year-old fish, a large scaly creature not seen before, that they say is a long-sought "missing link" in the evolution of some fishes from water to a life walking on four limbs on land.
Hmph. Sounds like some "scientists" are getting a leeeetle bit desperate in their frantic efforts to refute the all-powerful nature of our Lord and almighty Creator!
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
MIAMI - The deputy press secretary for the U.S. Department of Homeland Security was charged with using a computer to seduce a child after authorities said he struck up sexual conversations with an undercover detective posing as a 14-year-old girl. Brian J. Doyle, 55, the fourth-ranking official in the department's public affairs office, was expected to appear in court Wednesday afternoon in Maryland and also to be placed on administrative leave.
God bless America.
April 04, 2006
Delay, out; Wonderfalls, in
Tom Delay is off like a bad scab. It's a red-letter day.
In other news, the cancelled-too-soon series Wonderfalls is as funny and brilliant as we had hoped it would be. Really, very high accolades for this particular 12-episode series that chronicles a lovely young lady who seems like your best friend from the first time you see her. High marks. Netflix it today!
April 03, 2006
Drag.
We're very sorry to report the new new film Slither was a little disappointing. Very sad, considering the top pedigree of star Nathan Fillion, who deserved to be the new Harrison Ford so long ago it's not even funny. Not only that, but this is pretty much the ONLY horror film of the year to get all-around good reviews (the fucking New York Times recommended it, for God's sake), AND the first horror film of the year to do poorly at the box office. Nice work, American film-goers: avoid the smart ones and keep seeing shit like The Fog. We're going to go throw up in our mouths a little.