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December 30, 2004

Local Flavor

Okay, to all those reading from other cities, we apologize, but Planetarium is pretty proud of our hometown, and so, as a treat for localites (and former localites), we offer a link to the Twin Cities gossip site Slanderous Minneapolis. Two of our favorites thus far:

Dave Pirner at the CC Club on Sat. afternoon, drinking alone, dressed in flannel shirt (how “grunge”). Was going to strike up a conversation about missing children, but decided against it.

Another Watson’s slut sighting. She was at Copeland’s downtown on Friday, 12/10. Saw her making out with the main guy from the Watson’s commercials. Puke! I thought that he was her uncle or stepdad or something?!? She had a cosmo and he had beer. Why the fuck I was at Copeland’s, I don’t know.

Home, sweet home.

December 29, 2004

Whew!

After lots of fretting, pacing, and hmmmmm-ing, Planetarium is relieved and excited to inform you all that De La Soul's latest release, The Grind Date, is everyting we hoped for and more. We seem to be falling in line with a number of other critics on this one, but it's true: the new album ranks right up there among the strongest things they've ever done. Now, don't get us wrong, 3 Feet High and Rising is a landmark hip-hop album, and will probably never be equaled by them again. (Admittedly, it's a little tough to completely reinvent a genre more than once in your lifetime.) But for our money, this soars past even such greats as 1996's Stakes Is High. And for a group that's been at it for over 15 years, that's really saying something. We usually reserve this kind of way-late-in-the-game comeback for folks like Philip Roth. Happily, it seems the De La boys decided to one-up the "twilight-of-their-career" award that was earmarked for The Plot Against America. From start to finish, this release stomps over its territory with the confidence of a Shaq. Whereas 2002's Bionix had the sound of a group wondering how the hell they were going to handle this getting-old thing, Grind Date is marked by a sense of control, skill, and perhaps most surprisingly, exuberance. Allow us to suggest that by jettisoning the deadline of finishing Art Official Intelligence: Volume Three (the planned 2003 release that was scrapped), and giving themselves time, De La Soul reclaimed their passion, and remembered why it was they loved dropping rhymes in the first place. Hats off, gents- and to the rest of you, go buy the album.

December 28, 2004

R.I.P.

Susan's dead. Long live Susan.

Horror and Science

Well, as the death toll tops 50,000, and our brains try to wrap themselves around the full nightmare of that number (something essentially impossible), something else about Sunday's earthquake seems almost more shocking: the earthquake was so powerful that it affected the rotation of the Earth.

Now, before that freaks you out too much, we'll go ahead and assure you that you don't have to worry about adjusting your watch, or preparing for us to go spinning off our orbit. The good geophysicists at Slate have the full explanation for you here.

December 24, 2004

ho ho ho

merry christmas everyone. Planetarium will be entering our annual alcohol-induced stupor for the next two days. we'll see you on Monday. Beware of the eggnog. Oh, and tidings of comfort and joy and alll that.

December 21, 2004

Sin City Finally Drops!

hey folks- Planetarium needs all of you whiny picky movie folks to take a deep breath, and realize that you CAN separate appreciation of a trailer from whatever actual movie might lie behind it. There were some stinky movies this past year that had some glorious trailers, where the editor of said trailer clearly should have directed the movie.

That said, this is a trailer for a Robert Rodriguez movie. Worrisome, we know- the man hasn't made a good film since The Faculty, and that was 1997. We're ESPECIALLY including last year's dreadful Once Upon A Time In Mexico, because you really don't want to see that one. That being said, directors are like winters- just because the last three sucked doesn't mean the next one won't be awesome. So sit down, relax, and enjoy what is undeniably a cool trailer. The film? Sin City. Noir heaven, folks. Have a good time.

December 20, 2004

William Safire is Insane

Seriously. Totally 'round the bend. He's fucking nuts. Obviously, he's not actually retiring- he's clearly being forced out because he went certifiably loony. Planetarium would like to initiate a new trend in the blogosphere: calling someone out. Yes, that's right, Bill Safire, we're inviting you to come to Minnesota and get your ass kicked. Good ol' mano a mano, you nutty right-wing fuck. You probably won't even notice the ass-kicking, not with how insane YOU clearly are. What color is the sky in your world? Seriously, Planetarium wants to know- there's an office pool going on about the answer.

If you hadn't yet heard the news of Safire's entry into Loony-Tune land, by all means, please read it right now.

December 18, 2004

Fightin' Temptation

We'd like to provide a link for you right here to the review of the new film by Clint Eastwood, Million Dollar Baby. Speaking for the folks were who utterly pissed by the blatant misogyny of last year's Mystic River, this review who leave me dubious were it not for the fact that A.O. Scott was also among those of us who hated that picture. So his proclamation that it is "one of the best films of the year" is much more intriguing than it would be otherwise. And besides, Hillary Swank is always better when she's being masculine.

December 17, 2004

Hair Krug for Men

Once again, Paul Krugman kicks ass and takes names, while explaining just how completely full of crap the Social Security privatization advocates are:

Decades of conservative marketing have convinced Americans that government programs always create bloated bureaucracies, while the private sector is always lean and efficient. But when it comes to retirement security, the opposite is true. More than 99 percent of Social Security's revenues go toward benefits, and less than 1 percent for overhead. In Chile's system, management fees are around 20 times as high. And that's a typical number for privatized systems.

Go!

December 16, 2004

Blade: Trinity

Planetarium's going to see it tomorrow. We plan to yell "Oh Shit!" everytime Blade does something "badass".

Sweethearts Not Bleeding Hearts

That's right, all you right-wing Planetarium fans- be lonely no more:

www.conservativematch.com

Apparently, a woman named Beatrice Worthington III is our soulmate.

December 15, 2004

Speechifying

As we all try to become accustomed to that giant sucking sound that's taken hold over the greater part of the continental U.S. since November 2, a few folks, per the usual end-of bylaws, are offering some sentiments. Also as usual, most of them suck. However, there's a fairly entertaining one by Dean Opperman in the Pasadena Weekly. "I don't know about you, but I'm getting a Republican haircut just to blend in."

You can read it here.

December 13, 2004

Deconstructing Robert

This sort of "man-behind-the-myth" pieces usually don't interest us much here at the Planetarium office, but this one is pretty darn fascinating. You see, Amy Sullivan at the Washington Monthly isn't the usual sort of fawning, obsequious reporter who professes to "peel back the mask" only to end their pieces by concluding that this flawed-but-honorable person really is pretty amazing, after all. It's that lack of bootlicking that makes us really give her newest piece a good read. So click here to see her profile of Bob Novak, proclaimed by Jon Stewart to be a "Douchebag of Liberty", whom she argues has created an "ethics-free zone" for himself.

Time Waster of the Day

From Babelogue comes our fluff piece to kill three minutes of your time:

Porn Star or My Little Pony? You Make the Call.

December 10, 2004

dunno...

Here's one that could be the worst thing ever, just not sure. But maybe you should see the trailer for yourself, to get a feel for this potential un disastre grande.

Click here to see the trailer for Tim Burton's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

December 09, 2004

Gin Rummy

Planetarium has a lovely AP press piece today, featuring one of the better Rumsfeld quotes we've seen in almost a month:


Disgrunted U.S. soldiers complained to Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld on Wednesday about the lack of armor for their vehicles and long deployments, drawing a blunt retort from the Pentagon chief.

"You go to war with the Army you have," he said in a rare public airing of rank-and-file concerns among the troops.

We love this man. Go here for the whole delightful story.

December 06, 2004

Come clean

Okay, admission time....PLanetarium has the hots for Maureen Dowd. It's not something we're proud of, believe us. She's an east-coast, ivy league-bred elitist who has something annoying to say about almost everything. But she's just so damn CHARMING. Like Susan Sarandon, another older woman who still seduces us with her eyes, we can't help but feel the magnetic pull of the lovely Ms. Dowd. She positively glowed during her appearance on the Daily Show, and clearly had even John Stewart fumbling a little. Here's her latest snide, uppity column for the Times. And damned if it hasn't charmed the pants off of us yet again.

December 03, 2004

News Round-Up

It's time for Planetarium's weekly Friday night summation of all the important news from today. Because Friday is "Take Out the Trash" Day in news- the day where everyone who has a story they don't want getting big press releases dumps their unwanted stories. And then WE sort them for you, gentle reader. Here we go:

- Barry Bonds (baseball player) used lots and lots of steroids. Oops. But he didn't KNOW they were steroids. He thought it was syringes filled with candy.

- More college kids are killing themselves. Thank God. The job market sucks enough as it is.

- There will be a new election in Ukraine by Dec. 24. America is wholly bored.

- A lot less jobs sprung into being than everyone thought would. Clap your hands faster to make more of them get their wings.

December 02, 2004

The Kids Are AlrighAIIEE!!

Here's some lovely news from the Washington Post. God bless the Christians, they sure know what they're doing:

Many American youngsters participating in federally funded abstinence-only programs have been taught over the past three years that abortion can lead to sterility and suicide, that half the gay male teenagers in the United States have tested positive for the AIDS virus, and that touching a person's genitals "can result in pregnancy," a congressional staff analysis has found.

Those and other assertions are examples of the "false, misleading, or distorted information" in the programs' teaching materials, said the analysis, released yesterday, which reviewed the curricula of more than a dozen projects aimed at preventing teenage pregnancy and sexually transmitted disease.

...

Among the misconceptions cited by Waxman's investigators:

• A 43-day-old fetus is a "thinking person."

• HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, can be spread via sweat and tears.

• Condoms fail to prevent HIV transmission as often as 31 percent of the time in heterosexual intercourse.

One curriculum, called "Me, My World, My Future," teaches that women who have an abortion "are more prone to suicide" and that as many as 10 percent of them become sterile. This contradicts the 2001 edition of a standard obstetrics textbook that says fertility is not affected by elective abortion, the Waxman report said.

...

Some course materials cited in Waxman's report present as scientific fact notions about a man's need for "admiration" and "sexual fulfillment" compared with a woman's need for "financial support." One book in the "Choosing Best" series tells the story of a knight who married a village maiden instead of the princess because the princess offered so many tips on slaying the local dragon. "Moral of the story," notes the popular text: "Occasional suggestions and assistance may be alright, but too much of it will lessen a man's confidence or even turn him away from his princess."